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Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Follow your dreams.


I've been thinking recently about why some of us find it easy to follow our dreams, while others are left wondering how they got to where they are now. I think I'm at that stage in my life where I'm wondering how I got here. I was the kid who was always crafty and always had my head in the clouds. What gives some of us the courage to follow our dreams while others of us stick to safety and normality? 

As children we were always encouraged to find our passions and follow them into careers - for many of us, the more out-there passions that couldn't easily be transformed into careers were put on the back-burner and turned into hobbies. We took practical subjects at high school and achieved the grades our parents expected. We moved onto university and studied something that would give us a career as a business person, lawyer, doctor, or accountant.

The issue I have had is that my women of my parents generation had three options when they were my age; to become a nurse, a teacher or a secretary. I'm a glorified secretary. Both my parents became teachers - and a damn good ones - but I know my mother's passion lies in crafts, sewing, and fashion. I also know that my passion lies in photography, travel, interior design and journalism. I look forward to writing my blog because I enjoy it. I've had a blog since the ripe age of 13. 

Why is it, in this day and age, where women should be embracing the fact that we can be whoever we want to be, and do whatever we want to do, we still conform to fit in the box other people see us in? I feel like I'm living through other people's expectations of what I should be and who I should become, when I should be embracing my own truth. 

My boss, for example, has the faith in me that I could one day own my own successful business. Do I want to own a business? Sure - eventually - but I want to own a business that I am passionate about, which will make me happy and interested. 

I have a picture in my head of the type of woman I would like to be. I'm out and about, busy, travelling, writing and have a house and a home that I have decorated myself. My career is something I love to do, and it isn't just a 9-5 job where I'm watching the clock count down to 5pm. It's a career, not a job. A career where I work early mornings and late evenings. Where I can give myself time to cook and exercise, play with my family and have holidays without feeling guilty. 

I've always been a people-pleaser, in fact, my main anxieties come from me thinking someone is upset with me or doesn't like me. It sends my heart-rate flying and my stomach into knots and I start to feel light headed. I'm slowly coming to terms with this and managing it - but even as an adult, my main priority is to please others, and make sure they're happy.

I think what I'm trying to say is, if you have figured out what it is you want to do, do it, be it, live it. Don't just dream it and wait for it to happen. Don't live up to someone else's expectations of you. Live up to your own expectation of yourself. As for me - when I get back from Europe I'm going to start doing an interior design course online while working. I want to see if I like it and see where it takes me. 

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

You may say I'm a dreamer.



Sometimes I just want to get away from reality. I want to be able to know, just know in my heart, what I really want to do with my life. 

I want a career that I can be excited about waking up and going to every morning. A career that allows me to have some creative freedom and ability to make people feel something significant. 

How do some people just know what they want to do? Some people just know that they're supposed to be doctors, musicians, business people, lawyers - or so they seem to know. At the moment I feel I'm wandering through life half-blind, feeling my way as to what I should be doing rather than what I would enjoy doing. 

I would love to work at a magazine, I think. Perhaps in the life & style section. Anyone? Mindfood? Home & Living? Vogue? I'd gladly be a travel, interior design, or health & well-being journalist. 

I really don't think sitting at a desk all day is my calling. I want to be busy, rushing around with lists to do, places to be, people to see. Maybe I need to put my feelers out more in regards to journalism and look my fear of failure in the face. I think I've been conned into doing what other people want me to do rather than pursuing what I really want to be doing and it's now put me in a place where I have no direction or hope for the future. That's a bad place to be.

What do you think? Do you think I'd have what it takes to become a journalist, or an assistant editor or even editor of a magazine? I feel I have a good eye for detail and the ability to articulate my thoughts.

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

I want to buy a house.



I want to buy a house. A cottage. In wine country (Martinborough would be absolutely perfect). Where I can have a backyard with a vegetable garden, lavender and roses planted around the balcony. Where I will have raw wood tables and coffee tables, linen, cotton and wool fabrics, comfortable chairs - that I can curl up in to read a book - and sofas that are miss-matched but go together in an aesthetically pleasing way. A jumble of items that have been found at different stores - from expensive to cheap junk-yard items. 

I place where in winter I can curl up beside a fire with a book and a cup of tea, or in summer I can lounge on the balcony drinking a glass of vino and enjoying a cheese platter for two. 

I'd like a place I can share with a significant other, who I hope to eventually find. Where we can love and grow and enjoy each others company. Where I can have a cat and a dog, and maybe even a horse and some chickens. 

Even doing the math - the cost of owning a home in Martinborough isn't as high as in Wellington - and much more beautiful. I'd be able to get away from the hustle and bustle of the City in the weekends and relax and enjoy nature again. 

Anyone else dream of what their future home might be like? Unfortunately unless I get a job that would allow me to afford to even pay back the interest on a home loan - I'd still be a bit lonely! I'd definitely need a significant other to share it with. 

Thursday, March 7, 2013

Travel Series: Florence, Italy




I hear people fall in love with Firenze. The art, the people. There aren't really any huge monuments other than the Duomo and the Ponte Vecchio.  There are art galleries by the dozen - and of course Michaelangelo's David at the Galleria dell'Accademia. 

Florence is so small - by the looks of it I will be wandering around it, finding little treasures. I also want to take a Tuscany tour, tasting wine and looking at the beautiful Tuscan countryside (Under the Tuscan Sun, anyone?). 

By the way, I've started a Travel Tumblr - Black Peony Travels - please go over and follow me! I'll be re-posting photos of the places I'll be going to, and when I'm over there, I'll be uploading my own photos and adventures - it will be easier for me to post on there than on here while I'm overseas.  

I'm slowly accumulating travel items - today I bought No Jet-lag pills, and a travel toothbrush. Slowly but surely!