I've been thinking recently about why some of us find it easy to follow our dreams, while others are left wondering how they got to where they are now. I think I'm at that stage in my life where I'm wondering how I got here. I was the kid who was always crafty and always had my head in the clouds. What gives some of us the courage to follow our dreams while others of us stick to safety and normality?
As children we were always encouraged to find our passions and follow them into careers - for many of us, the more out-there passions that couldn't easily be transformed into careers were put on the back-burner and turned into hobbies. We took practical subjects at high school and achieved the grades our parents expected. We moved onto university and studied something that would give us a career as a business person, lawyer, doctor, or accountant.
The issue I have had is that my women of my parents generation had three options when they were my age; to become a nurse, a teacher or a secretary. I'm a glorified secretary. Both my parents became teachers - and a damn good ones - but I know my mother's passion lies in crafts, sewing, and fashion. I also know that my passion lies in photography, travel, interior design and journalism. I look forward to writing my blog because I enjoy it. I've had a blog since the ripe age of 13.
Why is it, in this day and age, where women should be embracing the fact that we can be whoever we want to be, and do whatever we want to do, we still conform to fit in the box other people see us in? I feel like I'm living through other people's expectations of what I should be and who I should become, when I should be embracing my own truth.
My boss, for example, has the faith in me that I could one day own my own successful business. Do I want to own a business? Sure - eventually - but I want to own a business that I am passionate about, which will make me happy and interested.
I have a picture in my head of the type of woman I would like to be. I'm out and about, busy, travelling, writing and have a house and a home that I have decorated myself. My career is something I love to do, and it isn't just a 9-5 job where I'm watching the clock count down to 5pm. It's a career, not a job. A career where I work early mornings and late evenings. Where I can give myself time to cook and exercise, play with my family and have holidays without feeling guilty.
I've always been a people-pleaser, in fact, my main anxieties come from me thinking someone is upset with me or doesn't like me. It sends my heart-rate flying and my stomach into knots and I start to feel light headed. I'm slowly coming to terms with this and managing it - but even as an adult, my main priority is to please others, and make sure they're happy.
I think what I'm trying to say is, if you have figured out what it is you want to do, do it, be it, live it. Don't just dream it and wait for it to happen. Don't live up to someone else's expectations of you. Live up to your own expectation of yourself. As for me - when I get back from Europe I'm going to start doing an interior design course online while working. I want to see if I like it and see where it takes me.